Had there been room I’d have called this Can I eat a turkey we’ve had for thirty years? It was a real question for the tireless turkey experts at the Butterball Turkey Hotline. For more than twenty-five years they’ve been on the other end of the phone during the holidays to answer our questions. This year’s no exception and they will be there, as usual, even on Thanksgiving Day and on Christmas.
No surprise that Talk Line staffers have some favorite questions from over the years and Butterball is kind enough to share them every year. Here are a few I like from the current crop:
- There’s a first time for everyone. A woman called for advice because her mother was tired of making the Thanksgiving meal, so she was about to make her first one. She — the new cook — was in her seventies.
- Another woman called the Hotline, disappointed that her turkey had no breast meat. The bird was upside down.
- A man used a chainsaw to “carve” the turkey. His question? Would the oil from the power tool be a problem?
- This sounds like something I would do. A Colorado woman wanted information on how to thaw her turkey. If she could find it. She was storing it outdoors in a snowbank but after an overnight snow, she couldn’t remember which snowbank.
- A newlywed, hosting her parents and inlaws for the first time on Thanksgiving, was thawing the turkey in the sink with cold water. And with a dish drainer and rubber mat on top of the bird. She explained to her father that she was doing it that way because her mother always did. And mom said, “Well, yes, but we had a CAT.” (I can has turkee?)
- A single woman, after my own heart, told the Hotline she likes to name each year’s bird after her biggest “turkey” of the year. Don’t tempt me.
- Another woman, with a question about her frozen turkey, was asked what state it was in. Meaning, how thawed. “Florida,” she replied.
- Yet another woman called on Thanksgiving morning, crying. The turkey wouldn’t stop sudsing. Seems she’d washed it with dish detergent, not knowing washing’s not necessary at all.
- And about that turkey that had been in the freezer for three decades — the man was urged to buy a fresher one.
If you need some help you can go directly to the online hotline, where you’ll find tips, the hours the telephone Talk Line is staffed and special help for first-timers. Even those in their seventies.
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I made my first Butterball at the ripe old age of 19, a new bride with the aim of pleasing my husband . . and he was pleased with the meal until he found the semi melted plastic bag of gibblets still in the bird.
Oy!
I left them in once, and not too many years ago. I was still in the mindset of having to be Superwoman — those days are gone! — and was overworked and underslept and smelled something acrid after an hour or so.
I hope you and the family have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
A fun post for my coffeebreak!
Thanks ella.
Wishing you a wonderful feast, an easy day, and that you be surrounded with love, family and friends. Happy Thanksgiving.
These are great. My worst faux pas was, with my first turkey eons ago, not realizing that there were bags of guts in both ends. When the smoke started I was made painfully aware that an excavation in the ‘other’ end was necessary.
Thanks, sage. Glad it brought a smile. Wishing you and yours — and the furkids — a wonderful Thanksgiving as well.
chickenbutt – So I guess in your case it was Tales from the rear …
Coming late to this, but I have done the giblets inside – and even with large free range chickens. I chalk it up to having too much to do.
Though, I never saw smoke – must be due luck.
Pax,
MLO
Never too late! Welcome. I agree, the busy-busy life trips us all up eventually.