Happy Patrick’s Day early, halo guy! Just thought I’d touch base since it’s been two years since I wrote about you and how Americans celebrate the day you died. Remember? How they eat “Irish” corned beef and cabbage? HAHAHA! As if. (As we say on this side of the clouds.) I guess they don’t want to believe it’s really not Irish or that tourist traps in Ireland that’ll serve it Tuesday are hoping for American tourists who probably also think Americanized leprechauns are cute, not stereotypical or offensive.
Face it, your feast day has become an excuse to eat green food that hasn’t even gone bad and to drink until passing out or driving the porcelain bus or both. I can understand eating bagels, since there’s that Jewish connection to Irish immigrants and corned beef, to say nothing of Bobby Briscoe, but neon green? And green beer?
You’ve been maligned, pal. Apart from the fact so many call you Saint Patty — like your name is Patricia, not Padraig — do you know some people here still call police wagons Paddy wagons, as they did in the “No dogs or Irish” days, when it was America’s slur for saying every criminal and drunk inside them was probably a Paddy, an Irishman? Sure, you’ve got cathedrals and churches and schools and who-knows-what-else named for you, and you get to be the Patron Saint of Ireland because you got rid of the snakes (Would you consider driving the bugs out of New Hampshire too? Vermont has room.) but what good are parades and green burgers and beer and corned beef and cabbage if it’s all caricatures and invented stuff?
Ah, well, you might say. Easter has it worse. Does it ever. A holiday that’s the cornerstone of many faiths — yours, mine, billions of people’s — has turned into chocolate bunnies, jelly beans that are loaded with sugar and corn syrup but taste really good and yellow marshmallow chicks that make my teeth hurt just to look at them. At least –
What?
Green chicks now too? For your day? Oh noes. Can little green chocolate yous be far behind? Ick. I’d take a pass. Besides, if I have any special food for the 1,548th anniversary of your death, it will probably be brown bread or Irish stew and if I’m feeling (you’ll pardon the expression) sinful, a slice of Nigella’s chocolate Guinness cake. It’s no more Irish than corned beef but it’s a lot tastier. Heavenly, in fact. Food for your side of the clouds.
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Isn’t it the American way to commercialize EVERY holiday?
I’m planning on buying corned beef and cabbage at the store, because this week they’ll be cheap loss leaders. Nothing like a good boiled dinner! I used to also serve a loaf of green snake bread with dough made in the bread machine, but I think I’ll pass this year. I bought a loaf of Irish soda bread at Whole Foods on Friday, but it’s already gone.
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Your soda bread story reminds me of the most honest thing anyone ever told me about commericializaton and the American consumer. I asked a supermarket manager why the Halloween candy was already out before Labor Day and he replied, without blinking, “So people will buy it, eat it and come back and buy more.” It works out well for him….
Happy Patrick’s Day. I can’t think of any other holiday, unofficial or official, that has the added dimension of stereotype and caricature.
I’m with you–I just don’t get the crazy St. Patrick’s Day as Excuse to Drink and Be Ridiculous. Apologies to St. Patrick. Shan’t be having any green beer; won’t be wearing green, but we will enjoy a delightful shepherd’s pie on Tuesday:)
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Lord knows I’m proud to be of Irish descent and to have lived there, and perhaps that’s why I’m bothered by the typical American excess with no foundation.
I love shepherd’s pie; haven’t had it in quite some time. Good reminder, thanks!
Ah, a bittersweet post, my friend. I generally do wear a muted green on SP day, but it’s the same green I wear on or about 25Dec, and for spring, and for harvest. It’s amazing how many probably think every Irish person is eating CB&C on March 17, along with all the other ridiculousness you have exposed. I read your two-year-ago post last year, and I’m glad you take the time to look squarely in the face of stereotype and bigotry, even the “innocent” kind. I was just at a lecture where the otherwise unimpeachable speaker quoted a companion but included the words “…but, because he was Italian, he had to have lunch first…” Qua?
I like to think of myself as an open-minded person, but I fear I’m becoming increasingly less pleased with these kinds of things.
Thanks for a great post—Loved the cartoon (hehe), the pic of SP, and the soda bread recipe! It looks easy! I could do that! I never knew it had buttermilk!
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Thank you so much for this comment, Muse. The stereotypes — ethnic and gender — that persist in our culture, ofen unconsciously, are just amazing. Your Italian story stops me in my tracks. I’m surprised the speaker didn’t go on to say the Italian talks with his hands. So many Americans still assume all Italians have dark hair and eyes or that all Irish have red hair and green eyes…and the list goes on. I can’t tell you how many people are unaware of the origin of Paddy wagon — which is so offensive the MSM stopped using the term ages ago. But if only one person learns it from this, I’ll be thrilled. We can’t wipe out stereotypes if we don’t know they exist.
That cartoon cracks me up. I’m glad you liked it. Heck of it is, there’s strong evidence that Ireland has no snakes because it never had any. I tried to work that in but it ruined the hoo boy, halo guy flow. I still wish somebody would send those damn bugs to Vermont!
Soda bread is dead easy if you don’t overhandle it. The buttermilk activates the baking soda so it can leaven the bread. Acid and alkaline. That’s pretty much all I know about chemistry.
Good to see you, as always.
First, a cheesecake note. I made your cheesecake for mama’s birthday, and it was delicious. There was that one little, branching, spiderwebby crack on one side, but I will chalk that up to inexperience. Clearly, your instructions for getting rid of unslightly cheesecakes tops are – well, tops!
As for tomorrow’s celebration – in my on-going attempt to stray as far from the beaten paths as possible, you’ll find not only Patrick but Columba, banshees, saining, runes and fire-smooring over at my place, along with some way cool Celtic decorations I did meself!
A happy and blessed St. Patrick’s day to you!
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Hi, shore - I’m thrilled the cheesecake came out so well and delighted you chose it for your mom. I hope she liked it. You’re right about experience and frankly, a hairline crack for a first effort is terrific. I’m going to copy this part of your comment and put it with your cheesecake comment. It’s a popular post and I think others might benefit from hearing about your results. Thanks for letting me know!
Your plans for tomorrow sound great (although I could do without banshees in my life!), especially the decorations you made. Slainte!
Dear Saint Pat:
The snakes have taken over!
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On Wall ST they sure have. Happy Patrick’s Day!